


hold my hand- we will keep going.

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alien Conspiracies, Angst, Experimentation, Family Bonding, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Im so sorry the plot changed so fast and now its angst, Kidnapping, Mind Reading, PTSD, Stolen Century arc, barry magnus and lucretia are basically siblings, cool fight scenes, its kinda really sad im Sorry, lots of death, mild elements of torture, really good pancakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-02-03 03:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Its the beginning of a new cycle, and a very unfortunate event occurs. Barry, Magnus, and Lucretia are left to their own devices, hoping that they are safe from harm.





	1. well! this was a mistake

**Author's Note:**

> im in hell
> 
> catch me at bardmutual on tumblr

The familiar smell of Taako’s famous 6-star pancakes wafted throughout the Starblaster’s cabins, just as they had entered the Prime Material plane. It was almost regular now, if he wasn’t cooking something warm and sweet at the start of every cycle, something was clearly wrong. But all was right, of course, and soon enough everyone would come running in to get food.

“Anyone want chocolate chips in their pancakes?” He called, still pouring batter onto the sizzling hot pan.

Lup raised her hand excitedly as she dashed out of her bedroom. “Hell yeah! Pour it in there!”

“You got it, sis.”

Magnus rushed in as well. “Oh give me some too!”

Taako laughed. “Sure thing. It’ll be ready in uh, uh, I’d say five minutes.”

At that point they had all wandered into the kitchen, save for Davenport who was steering the ship closer and closer to the newly discovered planet. Lucretia’s eyes gazed out the window. This world was more advanced than the last, she noted, it held cities with skyscrapers and modern houses.

The ship shook tremendously for about a second, and Taako spilled batter all over the counter, prompting him to curse loudly. It settled as quickly as it had started, however, and Taako began to run a towel under the sink to clean up.

“What was that?” Lucretia stood up.

Davenport yelled from the cockpit. “Just a bit of difficulty getting through the atmosphere. It’s fine.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and sat back down, flipping her journal back open.

“Ugh, Taak, cancel the pancakes, I feel sick.” Lup clutched her stomach like she was going to throw up.

“You know what? Me too. I’m gonna go lay down.” Taako turned off the stove and left the pancake batter on the counter.

Merle followed them back into the hall where their cabins were kept. “Don’t suppose we’re all ship-sick, eh? How’re you feelin’, Luc?”

“Um, I’m fine…?”

“Yeah, I don’t get what’s wrong. I feel great, actually!” Magnus pumped a fist into the air.

“Same here.” Barry added, not taking his eyes off whatever book he was reading.  
“How ‘bout you, Cap’n Port?” 

Davenport stumbled out of the cockpit after setting it to autopilot. “No, I need to lay down too. You three make sure we don’t crash.”

Lucretia nodded as he disappeared with the others.

\--

“Y-y’know Maggie, with driving l-like yours I’m surprised we haven’t crashed yet.” Barry said, holding onto the wall as the ship steadied itself.

“Sorry! I’m not very good at it yet!”

It was nice when it was just the three of them in a room, even if it hardly happened. They were like siblings now, destined to become closer as the years went by. Lucretia smiled as Magnus walked into the kitchen to join them. 

“Is… everyone else doing okay?” Magnus asked, stealing the last pancake off the plate that had been settled on the table.

Barry stood up straight. “Yeah, I’m s-sure it’s just, uh, sky-sickness or something. I’ll go check on ‘em.”

They were quiet, just for a moment, unaware of anything outside the ship. 

Lucretia slid her pen behind her ear. “Do you think Davenport will teach me to fly the ship soon? The more people the better, right?”

“Yeah!” Magnus said, mouth full of food. “I mean, I had to learn on my own when I did, but I bet he’s a real good teacher.”

“What do you know about good teaching?” Lucretia joked.

He laughs. “Alright, listen here-”

Barry ran out to them, clearly panicked. He was having trouble getting words out, babbling incoherent nonsense to the other two, hoping they could decipher it somehow.

Magnus took him by the shoulders. “C’mon, spit it out! What’s goin’ on!”

“They’re n-not waking up, th-they’re not breathing, it’s-” He pushed his glasses up to his forehead to rub his eyes, which were now producing heavy tears. “They’re all g-gone.”

Her heart felt as if it had been stabbed, hands quickly covering her mouth in shock. Magnus dropped the remains of his pancake and soon enough, he was holding both of them in his arms, as they all sobbed in mourning.

They stayed that way for a while. It got calmer eventually, the collective hyperventilating dulling down to deep breaths, eyes spent of tears. The dying was always hard. It hurt physically sometimes. They hadn’t gotten used to it, nor did they think they ever would. It was a crushing pain, and every year that passed felt worse.

“Well.” Magnus broke the silence. “That certainly was a thing that happened.”

He was distressed and it showed. His trembling hands fidgeted and he wasted every second trying to hide it. It had been a while since their crying-fest, but the after effects were obvious throughout all three of them.

Lucretia just stared. Her eyes wouldn't leave the scene as she spoke. “So, um. I guess it’s just us three this whole cycle?”

“Yep. Just team human.” Barry said.

“Sounds kinda lonely.” Lucretia remarked.

“We’ll make it, Lu. Don't worry.”

“Oh no, I’m not worried. Just… you know. It's always harder when there's less of us.”

“Yeah.” 

\---

Lucretia wakes up extra early. There's no noise from the kitchen, unusually. The twins are always clanging pots and pans together while they cook. She retrieves her journal from her nightstand, flipping to the next clean page and marks it as “Day 2 of Cycle 23.”

“We’re already off to a rough start. Right as we came through the atmosphere of this planet, anyone that wasn't me, Barry, or Magnus began to feel horribly sick and upon landing, passed away. We sent their bodies on our extra life rafts down a river as Lup requested two cycles ago. So far I've counted 123 cities and 998 small towns, roughly. We plan on speaking to civilians today and hopefully finding out why our friends died so quickly.”

The faint sound of knuckles tapping on her door broke her writing streak.

“Who is it?”

Magnus peered through as he cracked the door open. “Oh, uh, just wanted to know if you were awake. Me and Barry are gonna go out soon, probably, and we were wondering if you wanted to come with?”

An eyebrow raised. “Already? It's only six in the morning.”

“Yeah, well, I get up early to go jogging and he hardly sleeps, so. There's that. We have some eggs and toast ready if you want, also.”

Lucretia quickly got out of bed, tugging on boots and slipping on her red jacket and messenger bag. “Yeah, let's get going.”

Magnus chuckled. “In your pajamas?”

“Sure, why not. They're warm anyways, it looks cold outside.”

“Alright, that's fair.” and with that, he left, Lucretia not far behind.

The kitchen was low lit, the only light sources were the small ceiling lamp above the counter and the cloudy weather outside. Barry sat at the counter, a blanket draped over his shoulders, looking over some notes he had written, a plate of untouched food pushed to the side. He seemed unaware of Magnus’ and Lucretia’s presence.

“You look tired.”

He jumped. “Oh, uh, sorry. Didn't get a lot of sleep last night.”

Magnus smirked. “Do you ever?”

“Mm… No, not really.” Papers were shuffled together. “You guys ready?”

They both nodded. 

“Do you know where we’re going?” Lucretia tightened her grip on the strap of her bag. 

“Well, uh, the nearest town is only a few miles from here, figured that might be our best bet-”

There were several loud pounds that rattled on the door. Barry dropped his papers in shock and stood there, frozen, eyes wide open. Magnus held onto Lucretia’s arm as if it would keep them both safe. Shouts arose, demanding that the door be open or else they’d kick it down themselves. Magnus let go, anxiously moving towards the door.

“Uh, w-we’ll open it, just give us a minute-” He called out in the calmest voice he could.

Lucretia took a deep breath and raced to catch him. “Magnus just let them in, we’ll show them we mean no harm, we-”

“I’m just saying we should get our things together in case they want us to like, go somewhere.”  
“Open up!” They kept shouting.

 

Magnus turned the handle and stepped back as fast as he could. The people banging on the door were military men with dark blue uniforms, large guns raised and pointed menacingly at the three of them. Lucretia’s hands moved to her journal.

“Hello gentlemen, hail and well met!” Magnus waved and did a friendly smile.

Lucretia glared. “Magnus, be serious.”

“I am!”

The man in front spoke up. “Leave your things. On behalf of the king, you’re coming with us.”

“Oh! Uh, alright.” Lucretia put her bag on the counter and slid her journal into the pocket of her jacket. “C’mon, Barry, let’s go.”

He didn’t stop staring, but Lucretia tugging him onward was enough to get him out of his frozen state.

The air was cold, just as she suspected. This part of the planet was undergoing fall changes as evident by the colorful leaves. They were escorted through the length of the clearing they had landed in and to a wide road with odd yellow markings. There were vehicles parked along the side of the road, bulky cars painted black with yellow stripes and windows too dark to see out of.

“I hate when we get cycles like this.” Magnus complained as they climbed into one of the cars. “I mean, it’s only happened like, twice, but it’s still bad, y’know?”

“Well, this is what we get for accidentally getting trapped in an infinite loop we can never escape.” She joked, but when she said it out loud she realized just how grim their situation was. “Sorry, bad choice of words.”

“No, no, it’s fine. We’re kinda messed up, huh?”

The door slammed shut and the engines kicked on. 

“Yeah.”

They didn’t speak for hours. What could they even say? Were they supposed to figure out an escape plan? How sure were they that this cycle wouldn’t be the last?

They shared another hug, Magnus in the middle as usual, huddled together in the back of a dark car. They didn’t cry. All their tears had been spent. They simply dozed off, waiting patiently for everything to be over.

\---

The car halted, jostling the three of them awake. Upon getting out, they stood before the spectacle of this planet: a palace, made with white quartz and decorated with ornate statues and engravings. The tower in the center stood out most of all, like a long spear jutting out of the ground, casting a shadow longer than they could see.

Large doors were pushed open by two guards standing watch in the front, and they entered into one of the most elegant places any of them had ever seen. They felt out of place. While the guards and residents wore high fashions and distinguished coats in similar color schemes, the three of them wore pajamas and blankets. Lucretia giggled.

“What’s so funny, Luc?” Barry asked under his breath.

“Oh, nothing- I just noticed how trashy we look here.”

He smiled. It was the first time she had seen him make any other facial expression than a sad one since the ship had landed. “Yeah? That is kinda funny.”

They crossed the long tiled hallway, not caring about the guns pointed to the back of their necks. At the end of the hall was another set of double doors that towered over them, and when it opened, they were greeted into the throne room. A man in a dark purple suit and a red half-cape sat at the throne, accompanied by multiple guards that lined the pillars. He looked at them like they were diseased monsters.

“Uh, hello, your majesty…?” Magnus bowed awkwardly. Barry nudged him in the arm.

“I understand that you are not from here, yes?”

Lucretia, not knowing what to say, simply nodded.

“I received notice of your ship entering our atmosphere yesterday afternoon. Tell me, what is your intention?”

“E-excuse me?”

“What do you plan to do here?”

They glanced at each other, silently asking for answers. Barry spoke up.

“Uh, um, we d-don’t really have… plans so much as an, uh, i-idea?” He waited for a response and didn’t get one. “Um. Do you want us to ex-explain our si- our sort of, uh, situation here? It’s kind of a long story.”

“We have time.”

“Um, okay.” He took a deep breath and stared at his hands that were shaking furiously. “Mag- Um, Magnus, can you t-tell him?”

“Is something wrong?” He put a hand on Barry’s shoulder to comfort him.

“I c-can’t- Talking is… uh, di-difficult.”

“That’s fine. Uh, well-” He turned to the king. “We’re kinda stuck here against our own will basically, our world got consumed by this big, uh, I wouldn’t say ‘monster’ but something along those lines, and uh, we’re pretty much running from it and every year we get reset? It’s kinda confusing, I still don’t understand and we’ve been doing this for what, like, two-ish decades?”

Lucretia joined in. “Yeah, this is our 23rd year so far. The Hunger, as I have dubbed it, is after an object called The Light of Creation, and every year it lands in a different planar system. If we get off this planar system with the light, it won’t be consumed and we escape to the next world, and it kinda loops from that point.”

The king was dumbfounded. “If I had heard that story from anyone else but a group of aliens from a foreign world, I wouldn’t believe it. But given that you are, well, just that, it’s crazy enough for me to buy it.”

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. A weight was lifted off their shoulders that they hadn’t realized they were carrying. 

“Oh, um, I do have one more question, however-” Lucretia added, her index finger pointed to the air. “Our crew originally had seven members, including us, and when we, um, passed through your atmosphere they quickly got sick and died- is there any specific reason you can give me as to why that happened?”

“Yes.” He picked up a goblet of wine from a side table next to the throne. He spoke with poise, his voice like a black swan dancing on a blue lake. “We have taken the necessary precautions regarding aliens visiting our planet. The most talented wizards and scientists were hired by me and other leaders to create a field that encompasses the planet completely. This field in particular is designed to specifically poison any creature which is not of the human race.” He set his glass down.

“I suppose we couldn’t completely account for the fact that aliens have the possibility of being human. Have we caused you any sort of trouble with this?”

Lucretia wrung her hands. The memory of her friend’s dead bodies lying in their beds wouldn’t leave her mind, and as much as she wanted to be angry at something, at someone- she just couldn’t. Nobody saw this coming. Through the corner of her eye she noticed how tight Magnus and Barry were embracing, trying their best to hold in tears.


	2. a very unfortunate thing occurs right at the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've returned to their ship, and hope everything is at it seems. (It's not.) Lucretia takes a risk, Barry is alone, and Magnus destroys a pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (: SCREAMS i added new tags sorry not sorry? im changing the pace a bit so thats fun

Magnus punched as hard as he could. He punched with as much passion and anger as he could muster, screaming at the top of his lungs. Again, and again, and again, until the poor pillow that had replaced his punching bad split right open and feathers filled the air. Breathing was heavy, exhausted, but he could still feel the rage boiling inside his chest. Without thinking, his fist hit the wall. Despite his strength, it didn’t even leave a dent- only a sudden pain that ruptured through his hand, traveling from his knuckles to the rest of his arm. He screamed again, this time in agony.

 

The door flew open.

 

“Magnus, what is your deal?” It was Barry. The bags under his eyes were heavier and darker than before. 

 

Magnus held his injured hand. “Uh, I got carried away. Do you think you could-”

 

“There’s healing potions in the top cabinet.” He said, exasperated, before heading back down the hallway into his room.

 

Magnus walked into the kitchen. It felt empty without the twins in there, constantly messing around and making things. At least they kept leftovers in the fridge. Magnus reached into the cabinet with his non-injured hand, and sure enough, there was a small vial with magenta liquid labeled “Heals.” He popped the cork open and drank. Tastes like honey and milk, he thought. The bruise that had begun to from cleared up, and the pain was erased for good. A sigh of relief escaped him.

 

“Anger issues much?”

 

Magnus yelled, and turned around to see who had entered suddenly. Lucretia stood in the doorway, arms folded, leaning on the wall with a smirk on her face.

 

“You scared me!”

 

She giggled. “Mhm. How are you feeling, Mags?”

 

He sighed. “A mix of sad and mad.”

 

“What, like, discontented?”

 

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘smad.’” 

 

She laughed and nudged his arm. “That’s not a word, you doofus.”

 

“It should be! Why isn’t it a word? That’s dumb.”

 

“Well, I guess sometimes your feelings can’t really be explained with words. All you have is what’s in your heart and mind.”

 

“Have you been reading Merle’s dumb philosophy books?”

 

An eyebrow raised. “Can’t say that I have. Since when is he into philosophy?”

 

“Uh, he picked it up like three cycles ago. Some traveling monk ran into him or something. I wasn’t there.”

 

She folded her arms. There was silence again, as there usually was. He had a million thoughts on his mind, and he had no doubt Lucretia did, too. What could they say, even? What could possibly comfort them now?

 

“Have you seen Barry yet?”

 

“Uh- yeah, he told me where the healing potions were and ran back into his room. Why?”

 

She lowered her voice. “I know he gets like this when people die. Taako does it, too, to a lesser extent.”

 

“Gets like… what?”

 

“He just isolates himself and doesn’t talk to anyone. Usually it only lasts about a day or two, a week if things get really bad. I don’t know, I’ve just noticed he hasn’t even been coming out for food or anything. He usually does. Needless to say, I’m a bit worried.”

 

Magnus opened the fridge, scanning its contents. “I mean, he’s been kinda clingy lately. We just lost everyone in one day, that’s gotta be difficult. I know how bad it’s been for me.” Magnus made a quick gesture to the hand that just healed, then retrieved half of a BLT and started eating.

 

“Yeah. We’ll get better, I think.” She folded her arms across her chest, staring into space.

 

“You think so?”

 

“I know so, Maggie.” A gentle smile was given.

 

She hugged his arm, Magnus reluctantly putting down his sandwich to hug back. There was a lot of hugging this cycle, and he figured there would be more. He wasn’t complaining, though, he loved them like siblings and he’d embrace them any chance he got. 

 

“Hey, what time is it?” Lucretia glanced over his shoulder, trying to read the clock on the microwave.

 

“Uh, it’s past noon, I think. Why?”

 

She made a face that was all too familiar for Magnus. It was the same expression she always got when she had a good idea, when she wanted to try something fun. Last time he saw that face, they had a hot chocolate making competition after a particularly hard day.

 

He grinned along with her. “What are you planning?”

 

“I was just thinking we could go out and explore, maybe check out some shops-”

 

“Oh, yeah! That sounds fun!” He glanced down at his shirt. “Should we like, get some actual clothes on first or…?”

 

Her face turned red, realizing she’d been in pajamas the whole time. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

 

Their wardrobes were an odd mix of both clothes they brought from their home planet, clothes acquired from other planets, and clothes they had stolen from each other. It was all jumbled together and impossible to tell who’s clothes where who’s anymore. Lucretia wore her own plaid skirt and brown jacket, but the sweater she wore underneath was Lup’s, and Lucretia was almost completely unaware of it. Magnus had a purple jacket around his waist that originally belonged to Taako, stolen from a prank war last year. They regrouped in the kitchen shortly, putting on shoes and preparing to go out.

 

“Did you get Barry?” Lucretia asked as she tied her hiking books.

 

“I thought you were going to get him?”

 

“No, I thought  _ you _ were.”

 

They shared a look, and laughed.

 

“Alright, alright, let’s both go.” Lucretia stood up and waited for Magnus to follow her through the dark hallway.

 

His door was locked, as always. It might have looked like any other door on the ship but there was an energy to it- it felt cold, dark, but safe. A sanctuary in the midst of a war. Magnus knocked three times.

 

“Alright, come on out. We’re-”

 

“No thanks. I’m good in here.” 

 

Magnus’ brows furrowed. “Hey, man, we’re gonna go have some fun, we’re not leaving you behind.”

 

“I don’t feel like going.” His voice was sad and tired.

 

Lucretia pushed Magnus out of the way softly, giving her a way to speak to him. “Are you feeling sick? Do you need me to bring you anything?” 

 

Silence for a moment. They heard his mattress creaking, blankets shuffling loudly.

 

“I’m fine. Go away.” Was he angry at them?

 

“Barry, we aren’t leaving without you. I know you aren’t fine, you only do this when you’re not feeling well.”

 

He didn’t respond after that, but the door also didn’t unlock, which increased Lucretia’s worry.

Magnus spoke under his breath, not quite a whisper, but close enough to be one. “We can just leave him up here, it’s fine. We got the ship hidden pretty good, he’s not in any danger-”

 

“No! We can’t take risks! If the people on this planet are going to mess with one of us, they’re going to mess with all of us. We stick together. Besides, it’ll be good for him. I know when I get depressed, a walk always helps me feel better, even if just a little bit. We know our priorities, Magnus.”

 

He was guilty, it showed in his face. He pressed himself to the door. “Come on, it’ll just be for a couple minutes-”

 

“I already said no. Leave me alone.”

 

Magnus growled, stepping away from the door. Fist was raised like he was going to punch it, before Lucretia set her hand on his and lowered it.

 

She had a decision to make- she was anxious to go outside, to get out of the place they had holed themselves up in- the king had told them just how important it was that they stayed out of sight before he sent them back. If they were caught off guard, they could be killed, and their mission would be over forever. She didn’t want to leave anyone behind if their death was a possibility. But she wasn’t one to force anyone to do things if they didn’t want to. Her heart was full of empathy and kindness, and this planet wasn’t going to take that from her. 

 

“I can’t- Ugh, this is hard.” She held a hand to her forehead in frustration.

 

“It’s okay, if we can’t go, we just won’t go.”

 

The disappointment in his voice was what got to her. She couldn’t let down her little brother. She wouldn’t. So she took his arm, and led him to the front door.

 

“It’s fine. Like you said, the ship is hidden well- We got this. We’ll only be out for a few minutes, right?”

 

“Yeah!” His eyes lit up. 

 

The door opened and shut behind them as they left, Lucretia bringing up her journal for the map she had been given. There was a city nearby with a large marketplace, supposedly housing elegant clothing stores and restaurants, along with plenty of foreign things for her and Magnus to explore.

 

The walk was about a mile, only twenty minute’s time for the current speed they were walking at. The city was clearly visible from there, no hills to interrupt their view. It seemed most of the architecture on this planet was made from white quartz, as shown by the skyscrapers overhead.

 

“Where do you wanna go first?” Lucretia pointed to the different location markers.

 

“Oh man, where do we even start… there’s so many!”

 

“Okay, uh, let’s narrow it down- food or shopping first?”

 

Magnus held his stomach. “Food sounds really good. We’re running out of leftovers, and none of us will ever be able to cook as good as the twins. We gotta get something professionally made.”

 

“I agree- anything you’re craving?”

 

\---

 

Barry stared mindlessly at the ceiling, buried underneath blankets and pillows. His room wasn’t messy, per se, rather just not the way he liked it. Too many things were out of place for his own personal comfort. It certainly bothered him, almost enough to motivate him to get up, but it wasn’t enough. He had a feeling this was going to last a while.

 

Being alone in his room wasn't enjoyable. It was in fact the complete opposite. He liked being around people, at least certain people, and he liked getting up and doing things just to be doing things. But the thoughts that plagues his mind kept him pinned at square one. Sleeping was hardly possible at this point.

 

The crew hadn’t known each other their entire lives- they hadn’t even known each other half their lives, for some of them. Despite the fact of the matter, it was as if they had. Spending every day with a small group of people for years upon years made you think they were your blood family, you were meant to be together and as far as you know, you always have been and always will be. That thought was a comfort to Barry. Supposedly to everyone else, too. Even when they died, they knew they would be back eventually. Nothing would ever last forever as long as they kept their mission going. It was messed up, sure, but it was always good to know they would never be separated for too long.

 

And time was… so, so slow now. He didn’t know why everything suddenly fell to a stop on this specific cycle. Was it the earliness of the deaths that got him? Maybe. He could never be sure. He wasn’t about to psychoanalyze himself.

 

He felt his eyes begin to close, a relief to him that he was finally tired enough to fall asleep naturally. No spells, no medication, just the human body doing it’s job as it was meant to function. 

And then he heard something crash, and thud, and his eyes snapped back open, his body more aware than before.

 

He tried to convince himself it was nothing, it was just his sleep deprived mind playing trick son him to get him from getting rest. 

 

He pushed the covers off as silently as he could, grabbing his wand from the nightstand and cracking open the door, ready to fight. He anticipated an intruder to be nearby- the crash sounded like it came from the living room the split off the kitchen.

 

He tiptoed his way there, keeping close to the wall, making sure not to let the floors creak beneath him. A peek into the living room revealed-

 

Nothing. There was nothing there. Other than some broken glass from the window, everything was just where it should be. He supposed the wildlife outside had accidentally broken the window in some way. After all, they were parked incredibly close to a forest.

 

He breathed a sigh of relief, louder than he expected to. 

 

Something hit his head very, very hard. He was stunned. Everything collapsed beneath him, and his vision was decorated with dark spots, before he was overrun completely, and then he knew nothing.


	3. How could things POSSIBLY get worse?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's the thing with siblings, they have a way of knowing when something's wrong. Magnus eats some very good food. Lucretia considers a plan. Barry doesn't tell the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter came into my house and stole my bones while i was writing it. im Sorry,

Lucretia dug excitedly into her dish, devouring each bite and saving the sweetness. 

 

“This is absolutely incredible, Magnus!” Lucretia usually wasn't one to talk with her mouth open, but today was different.

 

They had both ordered  a kind of small cake, the name of which Magnus couldn’t pronounce.  It was drizzled with white chocolate and sprinkled with strawberries and probably the best thing Lucretia had ever tasted.

 

Seated at an outside table in the comfortable shade of a quartz skyscraper, Magnus and Lucretia took in the sights and sounds of the city as they enjoyed their meals.  They hadn’t had an outing like this in a while, the last few planets they had been to were either largely uninhabited or too rough on them for breaks to be considered.

 

“Yeah, no kidding?” Magnus said, the movement of his fork from his plate to his mouth faster than what should be humanly possible. This was his fifth order of the day. She didn’t blame him, he was known for his stress eating, and without the company of the rest of the crew to keep him upbeat, he was left to his own thoughts more often than usual.

 

Lucretia twirled her fork around absentmindedly on the plate, resting her head on her other hand. “The twins would've loved this.”

 

She could almost hear the frown in Magnus’s response. “Aw, Luc, you don't have to bring them up.”

 

“I know.” She sighed. This was a rough cycle without them. They knew how to make everything seem better than it was, more entertaining. That was their way of coping, perhaps: to hide the reality with jokes and make themselves happier by making everyone around them happy. There was a certain energy around the twins that perked you up, dragged you out of your comfort zone and tossed you into theirs. Without them around, Lucretia found herself more withdrawn, spending more nights in her room hunched over her books and journals.

 

“...You okay? You're zoning out.”

 

She blinked back to reality. “Sorry. I, uhm, started thinking about them.” 

 

“It's fine. I understand.” His voice held sincerity, warmth, comfort. A tone he only used in private conversations. 

 

Lucretia smiled, eyes gleaming. “I love you, little bro.”

 

Magnus scoffed in mock offense, but Lucretia could see right through his goofy smile. “Little? I'll have you know we are only nine months and twenty one days apart!”

 

“Enough for me.” They shared a look, smirking and giggling behind their forks.

 

They enjoy another minute of peaceful silence, admiring the scenery. Lucretia was in awe at how well they were blending in. Society here wasn't too different from how it was on their home planet, but this world was inhabited only by humans and magic was rare. Overall, it didn’t seem like they had too much to worry about.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucretia took note of Magnus checking his watch in a hurry.

 

“Hey, when did we leave?” He said, panic edging its way into his voice.

 

“I don't know, is something wrong?” She paused to think. “Did you leave the oven on?”

 

“Uh, no. Maybe?” Magnus shook his head. “No, I just have a bad feeling in my stomach. I think we gotta go back.”

 

“Maybe you just ate too much.” Lucretia teased.

 

He stared her dead in the eyes. “Lucretia, I'm being serious. I think something’s really wrong.”

 

\---

 

Barry’s eyes opened slowly to a familiar sight - a sight that, for a long time, he thought he’d never see again. The room he was in was small and cozy, with an old wooden floor, plain-colored walls decorated with sketchbook pages, and a large, curtained window. He was sprawled across an old yet comfortable bed, wrapped in a red quilt and crisp white sheets. The nightstand at his side was piled with various books and knick knacks he had picked up over time. It was right in his alley, and being here made everything feel safe.

 

It was home. 

 

He didn't take any time to question why he was back in his room from a plane that had supposedly been destroyed. As far as he knew, this was this way it had always been. 

 

Barry tiredly pressed his glasses onto his face, unwrapped himself from his sheets, and headed down the creaky wooden stairs.The house was always empty, though, so it didn't matter how much noise he made. Living alone had its advantages.

 

The radio on the kitchen windowsill hummed out soft jazz, the volume turned low. He payed no mind to it. It was such a regular sound that it had become white noise.

 

Barry leant against the railing and basked in the morning sunlight. There wasn’t much to do now. He knew by the time on his clock that he had slept in for the weekend, and on weekends, all he did was daydream.

 

The corners of his mind were fuzzy, like his skull had been filled with cotton, clogging up his memories of last night and… probably more before that, but his head hurt too much to linger on it. He moved on autopilot, mumbling indecipherable words, incomprehensible thoughts he couldn’t be bothered to decrypt right now. Drowsiness held him down, even though he was sure he had gotten plenty of sleep last night. What happened last night, anyways?

 

He opened the back door just to smell the morning air, making himself comfortable on the porch bench. The horizon was empty, filled with miles of wheat fields. Solitude was nice sometimes, but now it just made him feel empty. “Since when am I used to company?” He thinks out loud. Was there supposed to be someone close to him, or was he just delusional?

 

Then he looks up. The sky is a lovely shade of purple, like a lavender bush at sunset. Two suns emerge from the mountains in the distance. The fuzziness in his brain goes away as if somebody had turned on a light. The sight tugs at his heartstrings, and homesickness wells in his chest.

 

Barry feel a sudden pressure at the base of his neck as if invisible hands are pushing him, the wind is knocked out of his lungs, and everything goes dark.

 

Then he’s on the Starblaster- The lighting is low, and everyone is gathered around one of the windows. 

 

It's a sight he’s seen in his worst dreams thousands of times, a vision that kept him up on bad nights. Something he could never erase no matter how hard he tried. The monster that plagues them, the Hunger, looming over his dearly beloved planet, destroying everything he’s ever known in mere seconds.

 

Everyone is gasping, holding their hands over their mouths and hearts, choking back sobs as the ship accelerates beyond what they used to call home.

 

This isn't right, he thinks. This has already happened.

 

Then everything goes dark again, and he can't breathe, he can't feel,  _ where is he _ ? Is anyone  _ there _ ?

 

His eyes snap open again. He gasps in shock and coughs out a mouthful of blood, before wiping it off his face. A fluorescent light overhead shines into his eyes, making it difficult to see.  There is an immense, throbbing pain in the back of his head where he had gotten hit, and he realizes he isn’t safe at all. Fear seizes his body and he quivers as it  threatens to completely overrun him and send him spiraling into panic.

 

His efforts to get up were pointless. Something held him down, even as he thrashed, even as bursts of lightning shot out of his fingertips. His fingers wrap around the aggressor and he continues to cast spells one by one, all similar in nature and equally dangerous. But it’s pointless, and he forces himself to stop before he runs out of spell slots.

 

He hears yelling but his ears are cloudy along with his vision. Everything is chaotic and overwhelming.

 

For a moment he’s conscious of a pinching feeling on his arm, and just like that, he passes out again, lost to another void.

 

\---

 

Magnus slams the door open in a frenzy. Lucretia can hear him panting hard. Of course he ran all the way here: once you get him worried about someone, determination takes over and there’s no stopping him.

 

“Barry? Are you in here?” He shouts frantically.

 

Lucretia catches up to him and places a cautious hand on his arm. “Go check his room, Mags.”

 

The words have hardly left her mouth before he’s dashing towards the hall and throwing Barry’s door open. His eyes threaten to pour out tears, but he stays resilient.

 

“Is he in there?”

 

“No, no, he’s not here-” His voice breaks and he tries to hide it. “Is he in the living room?”

 

They check all the rooms furiously, searching for anything he might’ve left behind to let them know where he was, but to no avail. It was beginning to look like he was taken against his own will.

 

Lucretia was terrified. The same could be said for Magnus, but the terror had already set in his skin, and he had moved on to the grieving process. They met back up in the kitchen and held each other tightly, each of them trembling and Magnus sobbing uncontrollably. Lucretia was nothing but shocked. 

 

“It’s a-all our fault, we left him, we shouldn’t h-have gone-” 

 

Lucretia stroked Magnus’s back in an attempt to coax him. There was no way they could have saw this coming, the circumstance was just too raw and abrupt for correct comprehension, yet all that Lucretia could think about was how she should have known better. She could feel the risks she was taking when she made that decision clawing at her like sharp branches under a thick forest canopy. The warning signs were right in front of her and she ignored them.

 

Magnus wiped tears from his face. His crying had calmed a little. “A-are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know.” Lucretia sounded empty, regretful. “Don’t- don’t blame yourself for this, it’s my fault. _ I _ wanted to go out in the first place.”

 

Magnus pulled her closer, burying her head in his chest, his arm resting on the crook of her neck. Words were at fault now. They had been drained the moment they walked in, but now their energy had run out completely. 

 

Lucretia pulled away. “Mags, look-”

 

“Hm? What’s up?” He broke out of a dazed state.

 

“There’s blood on the floor right there.” And sure enough, right where her finger was pointed, there were crimson drops splattered by the doorway to the living room. Not enough to be seriously worried, but just enough to notice. They inched closer to it warily. 

 

“So… what does this mean?”

 

Lucretia’s face lit up as if she had just solved the world’s deepest mystery. “It means we have a way to find him!”

 

She jumped and swung her arms around Magnus’ neck excitedly. Tears formed again, but they were joyous in favor of sad.

 

“W- Lucretia! How do we-?” Magnus stuttered.

 

She settled back onto the floor. “Remember back in cycle 13 when Davenport went missing?”

 

“Uh… I think I was taking a power nap when that happened.”

 

She sighed. “Well- okay, uh… Barry used a piece of his DNA in a necromantic ritual-”

 

“Whoa! I missed out on necromancy?” 

 

She ignored his remark. “We managed to track his whereabouts using a certain spell and-” Then she stopped. “Wait - I don't- I can't do necromancy.”

 

Back to square one. They both sighed. Lucretia buried her face in her palms, resting her elbows on the counter.

 

“I hope he’s not in mortal danger or anything.”

 

\---

 

Barry was in mortal danger. 

 

Despite being completely unconscious, the dread that washed over him was enough to drown him. He couldn't be sure if he was awake or asleep anymore. He knew he was still alive, he had to be- he’d been dead several times before, and none of those times involved being trapped in the dark void of his own mind and subjected to his own unrelenting, frenzied thoughts.

 

So that's where he is now. All alone. It’s too dark for him to tell if he’s asleep or awake or in between. He stays there for a very long time. He isn't sure just how long, but he estimated it could've been a few hours or so. He decides he’s awake, because his internal monologue is never this loud when he’s asleep. If it wasn’t for that, he definitely would have dozed off by now.

 

“I just know whoever’s got me is out to kill me. They should've finished the job a long time ago.” He thinks.

 

“It won't hurt me much but I don't know what Lucretia and Magnus are gonna do when I’m gone. This will… this is gonna break them, oh gods! They’re gonna suffer and it's all my fault, I should've just gone with them, none of this would've happened if I had just stopped being so depressed-”

 

If he could cry, he would be sobbing now. “I miss Lup. If she were here, I'd be safe and we’d be together and everything would be okay.”

  
  


“Who is it you speak of?” Barry started. That wasn’t his voice. It was someone- something- else, dripping with malice and ill intent, prodding at him from within his brain.

 

He stopped thinking. He didn't know what else to do- was it an interrogation of some sort? Were they going to hurt his family? Don’t hurt them,  _ please _ , I'll do anything. 

 

He came upon the realization that he hadn't stopped thinking. His mind was impossible to silence, especially when he was panicked like this. The voice spoke up again.

 

“I was unaware there were more visitors on your vessel. Tell me- what do they look like?”

 

Now he really had to focus on not thinking. It was truly a challenge, but damn if he wasn't going to conquer it.

 

So he thought of other things instead. He let himself escape to a better time, near the end of last cycle, curled up in bed with Lup at his side. 

 

_ Lup hadn't had a particularly good night that night. She was plagued with nightmares and escaped to his room for comfort, as Taako wasn't exactly an option. It was dark, aside from the fairy lights she had helped him to put up, and they kept each other warm underneath cool layers of blankets and quilts (Barry had a preference for quilts for reasons he didn't know.). _

 

_ “You don't have to do this for me.” She says, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. _

 

_ “But I want to!”  _

 

_ She flashes a quick smile and pecks him on the cheek. “You're too sweet, Barold.” _

 

_ He smiles back, a rosy cheeked smile as soft as marshmallows. “Not as sweet as you.” _

 

_ She snorted. “You DORK! I love you.” _

 

_ He didn't reply, only blushed and let themselves embrace. Never had they known such peace as they do now. It stays quiet just for a moment, before Barry interrupts the silence. _

 

_ “Do you wanna talk about it?” _

 

_ “Sure, why not? It’s no good keeping it all in my head.”  She takes a deep, shaky breath. “Um… you know those dreams where you're running from something and the thing chasing you is super fast but moving away from it is super difficult?” _

 

_ “Y-yeah?” _

 

_ “Yeah. It was one of those.” She paused. “I don't even know what was chasing me but it was loud and big and when it finally, um, got to me… Um-” Her voice began to break, Barry could tell she was trying as hard as she could to not cry. _

 

_ “Shh, you don't need to keep going. You're safe now.” _

 

The memory stopped very suddenly as a painful shock shot through Barry’s body. His train of thought faltered involuntarily, and everything he tried to think was garbled and fuzzy.

 

“That creature is inhuman and could not be alive here. Try again.”

 

The fuzziness began to clear. He wasn't about to give in to whatever this voice was looking for. He knew how interrogations worked. This person couldn't afford to kill him if they wanted anything out of him, he knew that much for sure. He was going to resist even if it meant he would be teetering on the brink of death. What did he have to lose, anyways? As long as Magnus and Lucretia were kept safe, he had nothing to worry about.

 

“You can take everything from me but you aren't taking my family.”

 

There was that shock again, this time longer and more painful. He tensed, pushed through the pain, and waited for the numbness to recede.

 

The voice was getting angry. “I can be just as stubborn as you are.”

 

Barry didn’t reply. He was smarter than them, more resilient, it wouldn't take long for him to eventually come up with a plan and get out of… wherever this place happened to be.

 

“At least tell me  _ your _ name.”

 

“Sildar Hallwinter.” He replied reflexively.

 

“You're lying, aren't you?”

 

“No lying here, that's my birth name.” He resisted the urge to laugh. “Not the name I go by, though.”

 

He knew he was going to regret saying that. The shock this time was beyond electrifying. It just hurt… Everywhere, and in every way. He felt his body trying desperately to curl up against restraints, trying to fight off the agony, even as he was stuck in his own mind.

 

“You're not going to outsmart me. Keep trying, though, you might get further than you think.”


	4. and now, a well deserved break (featuring dog)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have somewhat of a plan now, and will be ready to go along with it as soon as the sun rises. Magnus does some cleaning up. Lucretia names a dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones shorter but the next chapter is gonna be. Pretty long (im gonna estimate it'll be around 3k-5k) leave a comment if ur enjoying it!! (also miffy the dog was named after my good friend wroenna on tumblr!!)

Magnus couldn't sleep.

 

This wasn’t uncommon; sleep just didn't come easy for him. It's not like he had awful dreams every night that prevented him from it -although that did happen on the occasion -he was simply restless. His body felt the need to move constantly, to be _ doing something _ all hours of the day.

 

After waking up for the fifth time that night, he gives up trying and stares at the empty ceiling. It isn't particularly interesting or fun, but he doesn't want to wake Lucretia by getting up and moving around.

 

But eventually, he does anyways.

 

He stumbles around in the dark for a while before he  lands himself in the living room and flicks the lights on. He sighs, gazing at the broken glass still scattered across the floor. He had almost forgotten about the whole ordeal.  _ Almost _ . And then the world decided to shove this cruel reminder in his face at the ripe hour of four in the morning.

 

It made him sick just to look at it. To think this is where Barry was standing when it happened... Magnus could see the blood splattered nearby. Why hadn't Barry done something to save himself? Had he assumed the window breaking was just another incident that nature had inflicted upon it? 

 

Magnus can imagine Barry talking to himself: “This is just like cycle three, with the spontaneously growing vines.” 

 

He grabbed the broom that leaned against the fridge, doing his best to sweep all the glass off the floor. Maybe if it was out of his way, he wouldn't have such an aching feeling in his heart.

 

He was glad Lucretia was asleep. He didn’t really want her to hear him stifling back sobs and sniffling.

 

He finished sweeping and turned to stare at the window that was now missing a significant portion of glass. Last time he fixed it, the people of the plane they were inhabiting had graciously provided spare glass and tools to fix it with. This plane was going to have more issues. For starters, they didn't have much money left. The king had loaned them just enough and a bit more to get necessities, and after they bought those, they had also spent a large sum on shopping for fun. Secondly, this planet didn't have many people who actually liked them. To the world who knew them, they were invaders; to those who didn't, they were strangers. Very odd strangers.

 

Magnus was in the middle of his contemplation when he heard a twig snap outside. He froze. Were those evil people who took Barry back to take more? He gripped the broom like a weapon. He was certain that with his superior fighting skills, the enemy wouldn't stand a chance-

 

But then again, Barry was a magic user, an advantage that Magnus didn't have. If he was defeated so easily, then-

 

Oh,  _ gods _ \- was he putting up a fight when he was taken? That would explain the blood on the floor. The panic that had settled in him increased as he paced the living room, broom trembling in his shaking grasp.

 

Then he heard something he didn't expect. A...whimper? Was it someone in need of help? … Was it Barry?

 

Magnus opened the hatch-like door outside. Barefoot and still shaking, he trudges out onto the forest floor… and that's where he sees it- the most beautiful golden retriever he’s ever laid his eyes on. His eyes sparkle, his mouth hangs open, and he drops his broom on the floor and rushes toward it.

 

A surprisingly relaxed dog, it graciously accepts his petting and hugging.

 

“What are you doin’ out here, girl?” He says sweetly. He doesn't expect a reply, only carries her inside and shuts the hatch behind him.

 

“Hey Luc?” He yelled, dragging his words out. “Are you up?”

 

A distant groan signaled that she was and it was Magnus’s fault. Her door opened and she stepped out in her pajamas, giving him the most disappointed look she could muster.

 

“Look what I found!” Magnus gestured to the golden retriever, a goofy smile plastered onto his face.

 

“It's… a dog.” Lucretia folds her arms.

 

“Yeah, isn't she just perfect?” He beams excitedly, bouncing on his feet. The dog licks his leg.

 

“Um… well, alright. Are you sure she doesn't… Belong to anyone?” 

 

“Well she was kinda out in the middle of the forest, and she's practically covered head to toe in dirt-”

 

“No collar?” She asks.

 

“No collar.” Magnus replies, sporting a grin.

 

A deep sigh escapes Lucretia as she stares at the retriever. She isn't very happy that this is the, quote, “important emergency,” Magnus had woken her up for. But she was glad he was happy, and they finally had something to help keep their minds off everything for a bit.

 

“Should we name it?”

 

“Yeah! I vote Dogface.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “You're terrible. Let me name it.” 

 

“I found her, I should get to pick the name!”

 

“Yes, but you haven't accounted for the fact that you are the absolute worst at naming things. I say we name her… Hm…” Lucretia tapped a finger on her chin. “How about Miffy?”

 

Magnus gasped. “Oh that's good! Yeah, Miffy it is!” He crouched and held the newly christened Miffy’s face. “How’s my little Miffy Wiffy?”

 

Lucretia couldn't help but snort. “Oh my gods.”

 

Magnus made kissy noises and pet the dog while Lucretia moved into the kitchen to search for for food that would be safe to feed it.

 

“What in the world would we ever need a dog for, anyways?” she said, quite obviously exhausted.

 

“I dunno! But now we have one, and I love her.” Magnus hugged Miffy again.

 

Lucretia placed her fingers to her temples, shutting her eyes. “Okay, okay. I’m going back to sleep. I suggest you do the same, because you and I are going out searching tomorrow.” She turned the corner as she finished, but then peeked her head out one last time. “ _ Early _ .” 

 

He stared at her for a moment as she returned to her room, then focused his attention back on the dog. 

 

Magnus was already anxious to start searching. He missed his brother, and he knew Lucretia did, too. Maybe that's what was keeping him up. He didn't want to imagine what had happened for there to be blood on the floor, but his mind kept him up with the possibilities. Magnus knew how he fought. He was clever, smarter than Magnus could ever hope to be. He took calculated risks at every chance he got. It was hard to see him failing with the skills he had.

 

Also… what was he going to do with the dog while they were searching?

 

And that's when Magnus got the most brilliant idea he's ever had.

 

“Lucretia! Wait!” He barreled down the hallway, Miffy close behind. “I gotta tell you something before you go to sleep!”


	5. it only gets worse from this point honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry learns very quickly that help is not coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this is gonna be. fun

“... And this two-sunned planet, what do you call it?” It asked yet another meaningless question.

 

“Don’t remember. Next question.” And there was the shock again. It still hurt, no question about that, but Barry had become numb to it. It was only really bad when he refused to answer a serious question, like the identities of his crewmembers and himself. He had answered very few questions.

 

It had been hours since the first bout of interrogations. Unlike the earlier sessions, this time he was fully conscious and cognisant of his surroundings. He was in  a hospital-like room, complete with fluorescent lighting and clinical equipment. The only thing out of place was the table he was strapped to, which looked like it had come straight out of someone’s personal collection of torture devices. 

 

The voice now came from a speaker embedded into the wall. The person asking was most definitely in another room with a microphone, so as not to be injured by any of the spells he had tried to fling out (he had now discovered they were the one holding him down earlier, and despite not budging an inch, was damaged by the bolts he had cast.).

 

Barry was so tired of it all. The questions, the electric shocks that left his mind paralyzed, the excruciatingly long moments of silence when his captors left him alone as the attended other duties.  _ Enough already,  _ he thought.  _ Either kill me or let me go _ . 

 

“I suppose if you aren't going to speak willingly we can always force the answers out of you.”

 

He furrowed his brow. “I thought y-you were already trying to do that?”

 

Barry figured if the person keeping him was more of a stereotypical villain, they would've cackled somewhat maniacally, mocking his foolishness. But they didn't.

 

“Oh no, it's a different method of mind reading than what you've already experienced. We’re just going to search through your memories a bit.You won't feel a thing, I promise.”

 

“Sounds kinda suspicious if you ask me.” Barry squinted at nothing.

 

“Oh, relax. We can always keep doing this if that's what you want.” 

 

Barry clicked his tongue. “Hm. Tempting.” He wasn't even sure if he was joking or not anymore. 

 

The voice was quiet for a moment. “That was a rhetorical statement. I  _ know _ you're not going to talk. Close your eyes and this will be quick.”

 

“W-wait, hold on just a second-”

 

They halted. “What?”

 

“I just need- W-what exactly are you gonna do?”

 

“Well,” The sound of papers being shuffled and sorted came through the speaker. Barry got the impression  they were reading off of something. “It's an untested method of interrogation. We search through the subject’s long term memory for answers, and, while the results may not be definite, we’re always glad to come across a good test subject to improve upon our methods.”

 

If Barry wasn't anxious before, he sure as hell was now. He shifted his position, doing what he could in his current situation to shake off the sudden uncomfortable feeling that loomed over him. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst.

 

He felt a familiar pinch on his arm and his eyes snapped open, only to find his consciousness was quickly slipping away from him.

 

\---

 

Barry had never experienced such complete darkness and silence before, at least not to his awareness. The quiet was loud, muffling any other noise, and the darkness was numbingly cold. 

 

The voice - one he had gotten so used to hearing, now - penetrated the silence.

 

“What are you capable of?”

 

Just one question. As it burned into his ears, the darkness vanished, along with everything else he was aware of, and then he couldn't feel anything at all. Now it was light again, but Barry was gone. It was like he was watching himself on an old television, a dream sequence interrupted by static.

 

_ “Get over here, zombie boy-” an angry looking kid yelled, grabbing Barry’s arm so hard the skin caught beneath their nails started to peel. _

 

_ Barry protested, gripping the doorframe. “No! Leave me alone!” _

 

_ He was pulled into a science room with a couple other kids, all equally outcast looking and scary. Each one was taller than him by at least a foot. _

 

_ “What do you want from me?” He rubbed his arm where the other kid had grabbed it. _

 

_ The person in question placed a hand on his shoulder and outstretched his finger towards a table at the back of the room, where a small box sat in the center. _

 

_ “We wanna see ya raise that thing from the dead.” _

 

_ Barry’s eyes grew wide. “What?! No! That's bad, I'm not doing it!” _

 

_ He turned around, trying to push past the crowd, but was easily shoved back to where he stood. A jock looking kid held him tightly by the shoulders and kept him standing there, facing the table. _

 

_ The crowd began to chant “Do it! Do it! Do it!”  _

 

_ It was a trial of morality for him. Barry made a promise to himself, an oath, that he would never bring someone or something back from the dead unless it gave him full permission to. Necromancy was different than your average healing magic. Resurrection as a cleric using holy power meant restoring them to what they were before they died, back at full health and with sanity of mind. Raising the dead as a necromancer was much, much more sinister and harmful. It was creating a zombie out of the dead creature. It meant they were suffering every minute of being alive. _

 

_ And Barry hated seeing suffering. _

 

_ The chanting only seemed to get louder as his anxiety rose. There seemed to be no way out. No matter what he did, the bullies would always come back for him. _

 

_ He extended his shaking arms and tapped into his magic. Reanimating the dead was a particularly hard feat to accomplish. He’d only practiced it on small bugs - never anything with a conscious mind. _

 

_ The energy that emanated off his palms was bright green. Not evil, per se, but less inviting than the gentle pinkish glow that most magic emanated. _

 

_ It happened faster than he was able to process. It hurt a little, but not much. Using powerful spells always came with a burning feeling in your chest. There was so, so much noise, though. This magic he harnessed was  _ **_loud_ ** _. Crackling lightning that ripped through the air tore through the ground beneath him and trailed to the table where the body of a dead frog lay dormant. It was so loud he didn't even realize he was screaming along with it. _

 

_ He stood there panting.The job was done. The frog hopped out of the box, bloody and broken, but alive. No, not alive. Undead. _

 

_ In that moment, Barry’s world narrowed to the limping frog in front of him. He could practically hear it speaking to him-  _ Why did you do this? Don't you know how much it hurts? Why couldn't you have left me to die, Barry?

 

_ To say he cried afterwards is an understatement. He sobbed, hyperventilated, curled up into a ball and rocked in an attempt to somehow ease the panic away.  _

 

The vision disappeared. Barry now found himself in the middle of a picturesque green forest, complete with a fallen log bridge over a creek.

 

_ “Easy now, don't wanna fall into the water!” Merle chuckled. _

 

_ Barry held his arms out to keep balance. “I got it.” _

 

_ After making their way across the bridge they found themselves staring up the tallest tree either of them had ever seen. Neither of them were quite sure what kind it was. _

 

_ “Alright.” Merle huffed, and brought out a leather bound book filled with personal illustrations of various plants and holy symbols and messy writing that only Merle could possibly understand. _

 

_ “Is there a reason you brought me out this far?” Barry asked, taking his denim jacket off and tying it around his waist. _

 

_ “Yeah, you said you wanted to learn some healin’ magic, didn't ya?” _

 

_ “S-sure, but why can't you just show me on the ship?” _

 

_ Merle gestured to their surroundings. “This is the first step, kid! My magic comes from Pan, so if ya wanna learn healing from me, you gotta connect to the flow of nature.”  _

 

_ Barry stayed quiet as Merle placed a hand onto the base of the tree. He made a “come here” motion, and Barry leaned in. _

 

_ “Put your hand on the tree. Can you feel the life energy?” _

 

_ He squinted. “No? You, uh, kinda sound like a hippie, no offense.” _

 

_ Merle laughed. “None taken!” He let out a sigh. “You heard of that analogy with magical focuses?” _

 

_ Barry pondered for a moment. “I think so. Is that the one with the basket?” _

 

_ Merle smiled, nodding. “Yeah! You gotta collect all that energy into your focus. Now imagine the tree is a magical focus. Its got its own power it can harness and all that, and it uses that power to grow bigger.” _

 

_ “I don't… know if I understand.” _

 

_ “Here, roll up your sleeve for a sec.”  _

 

_ Barry did as was told as waited. “Okay, now what?” _

 

_ Merle took a pocket knife out and slashed Barry’s arm. He shrieked, flinching away from the blade. _

 

_ “That hurt a l-lot!” _

 

_ “Ah, ah, it's for the lesson!” Merle wagged his finger. “Now keep that arm on the tree and try to tap into it like it's your focus. Use it’s energy to heal yourself.” _

 

_ Barry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The tree had energy like spools of thread that unwound beneath the bark, intricate and immaculate pathways running up and down its trunk.. He could feel it moving beneath his skin. _

 

_ He tugged at a single thread. The energy leaked out like a thick honey, but slowly his arm began to heal.  _

 

_ Barry grew impatient, however. Without realizing, he had tapped into his own magic as well, and soon the single thread he was pulling became a clump, unorganized and tangled, moving with great haste. _

 

_ He opened his eyes to look at his arm, which had healed completely without even a scar leftover. Merle looked shocked. Afraid? _

 

_ Barry’s excited smile dropped. “What’s wrong?” _

 

_ “Look at the bark.” _

 

_ The area where Barry’s hand had rested moments ago was now devoid of color, rotted and spreading to other areas of the tree. _

 

_ “Oh. Is that… supposed to happen?” _

 

_ “Course not! If you woulda taken it easy it'd be just fine-” Merle sighed loudly and closed his book. “Shoulda known better not to deal with necromancers.” _

 

_ A pang of guilt shot through his heart. “Ouch, man. What did I ever do to you?” _

 

_ “Meh, ‘s not your fault, kid. Necromancy is tricky magic to deal with. I’d just rather stay out of it.” _

 

_ Merle walked back onto the trail. Barry stayed behind, shooting a glance at the now decaying tree, overcome with negative emotions. He’d never admit it, but he was afraid of himself. _

 

The vision faded into white noise. For a while, nothing changed, and Barry was subjected to the dark silence once again.

 

The voice asked another question. “Who is your family?”

 

Here came the dread. Before the vision could even start, a million worries rushed through Barry’s mind. If these people - whoever they were - ever found Lucretia and Magnus, they’d all be done for. There was no escape. He felt hopeless. Nothing he could do would be able to stop them from hurting his family, from hurting him.

 

His train of thought was cut off as the vision begun. It was the living room of the Starblaster, a few months into cycle four. 

 

_ What could they possibly say to comfort each other? Could there even be comfort in these times? _

 

_ This wasn't a rough cycle. It was rather peaceful, actually. They’d found the light within the first month and the civilians of the plane were generally pretty welcoming and left them alone when they wished to be. _

 

_ But after four years of torment, they had to come clean. This particular night, almost everyone had been woken by bad dreams. Lucretia was the one to take action- she called everyone to the living room for a group therapy meeting. Blankets and pillows were strewn across the floor. Lup had made popcorn and Taako brought hot cocoa. But despite the warmth this setting brought, most of their faces were decorated with tear stains.  _

 

_ Lucretia stood up at the front of the room, clapping her hands together enthusiastically. “Alright! Sorry this was so hasty, I just got worried about how everybody was doing and Davenport’s still asleep, so I g-guess this is the first meeting I’ve ever called-” _

 

_ Taako raised his hand and spoke despite not being called on. “How long are we gonna be here?” _

 

_ “I- Um, not very long, hopefully.” Lucretia fidgeted with her hands. “Just long enough for us vent efficiently!” _

 

_ Taako slumped back down, leaning his head on Lup’s shoulder.  _

 

_ It was silent for a long, long time after Lucretia sat back down. Not even she knew what to say. The last meeting they had was led by Merle and Davenport, who often encouraged the crew to get their feelings out, but unfortunately, they had both fallen asleep before Lucretia could call the meeting. She would hate to disturb them. But without them, the crew’s mouths were locked up tighter than vaults. There were words to be said, certainly- the problem was getting them to come out, getting them to make sense.  _

 

_ About ten minutes had passed when somebody finally spoke up. Barry talked quietly, eyes fixated on the ground.  _

 

_ “We’re real messed up, huh?” His voice cracked.  _

 

_ Lucretia stared. “Are you doing okay?” _

 

_ Barry rubbed his eyes after pushing his glasses up his forehead. “Y-yeah. I’m just tired.” Holding in tears felt like trying to plug up a dam with a single twig. _

 

_ “Aren’t we all?” Lup laughed forcefully. “Sorry. That sounded better in my head.” _

 

_ “It’s cool, Lulu.” Magnus said.  _

 

_ Lucretia smiled. “Hey, at least we’re talking, right?” _

 

_ “Kinda wish we’d do this more often, huh?” Lup agreed, slinging an arm around Taako. “You guys feelin’ okay?” _

 

_ A few groans in response.  _

 

_ “Alright, sorry I asked.” She was only half sarcastic. _

 

_ They returned to silence, but the discomfort between them had only magnified. Nobody wanted to talk, but nobody wanted to get up either, it seemed. Their business had not been finished. _

 

_ Magnus stood suddenly and held his arms out wide. “Everybody get in here. Right now. Group hug or die.” _

 

_ There was no hesitation from anybody in the group. Magnus collapsed with them onto a beanbag as they ran into his arms. The only words that were spoken were mumbled.  _

 

He blinked and it was gone. Now Barry was in the woods again, the sounds of a battle raging behind him, his family not too far ahead of him.

 

_ He kept running, but it was no use. He was falling behind faster and faster and there was nothing he could do. There was no time to stop and catch his breath: a group of not-so-friendly villagers with powerful magic were hot on his trail. He wasn’t ready to die so early on. _

 

_ “Guys! Wait up!” Could they even hear him? _

 

_ Barry whipped out his wand and fired a few shots behind him, hoping to slow down the enemy. Looking back was a mistake, though. His foot caught on a particularly sturdy rock and sent him tumbling forward, rolling through the dirt and rocks. _

 

_ “Hey, come on- Shit.” Davenport was at his side in an instant. _

 

_ Barry sat up. A stinging pain shot up his left ankle and upon investigation, the skin had started to turn dark purple and red. He looked away quickly. _

 

_ “Get up, let’s go!” Davenport grabbed Barry’s arm, trying to hoist him to his feet. _

 

_ Putting any sort of pressure on his leg was excruciating. Barry only stood for about half a second before he fell back down. _

 

_ “What’s wrong? We gotta- oh. That’s not good.”  _

 

_ “Y-yeah, no kidding?”  _

 

_ Shouts echoed behind them and another volley of spells were fired. Several balls of fire flew over their heads, aimed at the rest of the crew, but a few were headed straight towards Barry and Davenport. Each braced themselves and waited for the impact, but it never came. _

 

_ “C’mon!” Merle called out. A shield of holy light emanated from his fingertips. . “It’ll stay around ya, don’t worry.” _

 

_ Davenport glanced at Barry. “Can you walk if I help you?” _

 

_ Barry nodded, biting his lip. “I’ll t-try.”  _

 

_ “WATCH OUT!” Lup yelled, and came backflipping over their heads a moment later. She landed gracefully in front of them, flames licking at her arms and legs, fists full of pure concentrated fire. She extended her arms towards the enemy. She was radiating with power, hot and bright.  _

 

_ “GO! GET OUT OF HERE!” She called back towards Barry and Davenport, who were gaping at her. Barry draped himself over his captain and they did their best to run to the rest of the crew, still surrounded by Merle’s glowing shield. _

 

_ Lup’s magic kept growing as the enemies approached, until the light had volume, and then there was the biggest explosion any of them have ever heard. It climbed upwards, scorching the sky, burning brighter than any sun they’d seen in their lifetime. Everyone froze in their tracks just to see the rubble that remained. _

 

_ The area in front of where Lup stood was empty and scorched. A circle of black glass had replaced the floor, a few small flames curling up the pine trees around it. She panted heavily, not moving. One by one, the crew ran back to her. _

 

_ “That was… absolutely insane.” Taako patted her shoulder. _

 

_ Lup looked at him, wide-eyed. “Cool! I think I’m gonna pass out.” Cue her knees buckling as she fell into her brother’s arms. Taako mumbled something about spell slots under his breath. _

 

_ Lucretia ran ahead to sketch the scene, eyes beaming and body shaking excitedly. Taako lifted Lup into a carrying position, struggling under the weight. _

 

_ “Uh, I can carry her?” Magnus chimed. _

 

_ Taako sighed. “Thank gods. I am in no way strong enough to deal with this.” He handed her to Magnus, who slung her over his shoulder. _

 

_ Davenport gestured to Barry, who was ultimately failing to keep on one leg. “You think you can carry two at once, Burnsides?” _

 

_ Magnus raised a brow. “Are you underestimating my strength?” He flexed with his free arm. “‘Course I can, bring ‘em here!” _

 

_ He carried both of them with no difficulty whatsoever. Davenport smiled proudly, like a dad who’s favorite kid just received straight A’s on his report card. _

 

_ “Good work, team. Let’s head back to the ship.” _


	6. depressed lesbian has joined the server

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia gets some information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. My formatting is fucked up, apologies 2. Sorry its taking so long to update, I am a fool

By the time the clock read 6:00 AM,Lucretia was more than prepared. She had gotten up a while earlier than usual just in case, but had ended up showering and dressing in her best traveling attire in less than half an hour. Her uniform jacket and pajamas were abandoned in favor of something more durable- a brown fur-lined jacket over a dark red sweater she’d borrowed from Magnus, a pair of dark-washed jeans from Barry, hiking boots, and a messenger bag stuffed with supplies. She wasn’t planning on doing anything super adventurous, but it was better to be over prepared than underprepared.

Lucretia sat on her newly made bed in silence, tapping her foot in sync to the clock’s ticking. She only had one goal in mind, and the determination to accomplish it flowed through her veins and settled in her chest. She was going to find her brother if it killed her. Even if he was hurt, on the brink of death, or even if he is dead- she needed to see him one last time before the cycle ended. 

“Hey, Luc?” Magnus said from the hallway, followed by the pitter-patter of dog paws on the hardwood floor. “You ready to go?”

She stood up and opened her door, turning off the light behind her. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Magnus had attached a lead to Miffy, a thin rope tied around a pink leather collar.

“Did you… make that yourself?” Lucretia kneeled to investigate the collar, rubbing a thumb over the name pendant. ‘Miffy’ was written in sloppy cursive handwriting, a feat Lucretia didn’t know Magnus was capable of.

Magnus grinned. “I did! Do you like it?”

She didn’t look up at him. “Did you even sleep?”

His smile dropped, and he rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Uh, I can’t. Sleep. Got a lot on my mind, y’know?” 

Lucretia sighed. “Yeah, same here.” She rose to her feet. “Where do we start?”

“Wherever Miffy leads us, I guess.”

“How do you know this is even going to work? What if he’s too far away, or Miffy gets distracted, or-”

Magnus placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay. Uh, we can split up if it worries you that much?”

“Well, I don’t know about that- Last time we split up, um…”

“I don’t think we really have anything to worry about. Like, we blend in pretty good, I think? And we have our stones of farspeech on us just in case!” He reassured her.

Lucretia would like to say she thought long and hard, but her mind was set nearly the moment Magnus had suggested it. Splitting meant covering more ground, getting more answers in less time- an all-around better solution to their problem. She nods and tightens her grip on the strap of her bag.

“Alright. Let’s go. I’ll head north to ask for some information, you go…” She glanced at the dog. “You go wherever she leads you. Call back in an hour. Or if we find anything. Who knows.”

Lucretia turned on her heel, ready for the uncertainty that lied ahead of her outside the door. 

“You know,” Magnus called from behind. “You make a pretty good leader.”

She stopped. “You think so?” 

“Yeah! You’re gonna do great, sis.”

\---

Magnus’s comment stayed with her as she stepped off the Starblaster. She’d always thought of herself as a follower, and for a long time, that was all she was. A quiet shut-in who did what she was told, nobody special. But, just like everyone else, this mission had changed her. Cycle after cycle, she’d seen herself become more confident and stronger in every other way. In a time like this, perhaps she had changed even more without realizing.

After a mile or so of walking, Lucretia found herself in a small town- an old road lined with small brick houses. Seeing nothing that really piqued her interest. She took out her journal and added to her latest entry.

“Day 12 of Cycle 23. It’s been about 46 hours since I last saw Barry. Possibly more. I’ve lost track of the time. Magnus is using Miffy to help search- it is in no way the perfect solution but right now, it seems like our best shot. I am searching the people of this plane for information. The town i currently find myself in is close enough to where Barry’s abduction occurred that they must have some sort of answer. I’m keeping my hopes up, as always. Need to be careful not to get caught. I-”

“What’cha writing there?”

Lucretia jumped, dropping her journal. She turned her head frantically to search for the sudden voice.

“Sorry I scared you.” There was a young woman smoking a cigarette on her porch. She had a head full of wavy brown hair that only reached to the bottom of her jaw, forehead covered by messy bangs. She was dressed in an oversized flannel and a shirt decorated with an illustration of a typical UFO.

“You passing through here for any reason, or…?”

Lucretia stared for a moment before catching up to the woman’s words. “Oh! Uh, Yes, I’m looking for some i-information, if you will-”

She raised a brow, placing the cigarette in a nearby ashtray. “What kind of information?”

“Well, um…” Lucretia stammered. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest, she was sure the other woman could hear it. “My brother went missing not too far from here, I f-figured this would be my best chance at finding him.”

“Hm. Hey, come inside for a sec, I think I know how to help.” She opened the creaky front door and gestured for Lucretia to follow. 

“Uh- Okay?” She stepped up the porch, walking in as the other held the door open. 

The interior was cluttered, to put it simply. Walls were littered with papers and red string, journals and files and photos scattered across the floor and furniture in a nearly haphazard way.

“Sorry for the mess. My name's Kate Arnston, I'm a ufologist. How ‘bout you?”

Lucretia stopped. “Ufologist…? That can't be a real field of science-” She was met with a glare. “Oh, you're serious. S-sorry, you can call me Lucretia.”

Kate lifted some files off the coffee table and sorted through the contents. “If my assumptions are correct, you're not from here, right? Like, you're from another planet?”

Lucretia blinked very fast. “How did you-”

“Well, for starters, that brand of clothing doesn't exist here. Plus, I've never seen you around here and I know just about everybody.”

“That's impossible. You can't know everyone on the planet.”

Kate smirked. “Hon, there's not a whole lot of folks still alive, I dunno if you've noticed.”

That didn't make any sense. Lucretia distinctly remembered the numerous cities and towns she counted upon arriving to this planet. What exactly was Kate's definition of “not a whole lot of folks?”

“But there's- there's so many cities, they can't just be-”

“Abandoned?”

Lucretia turned her gaze to the papers scattered about the room, realizing that a majority of them were posters and newspaper articles for missing people. A quick turn-around revealed just how many there were, numbers reaching at least into the high hundreds. Lucretia was certain there was more beyond this room. Terror coursed through her veins at this newfound discovery- the mystery unfolding before her just gotten more confusing, and the implications of this whole thing made her almost dizzy.

“What… happened?”

There was something in Kate's face that hurt to look at. Maybe it was the sense of loss she could see in her dark green eyes, the a frown tugged at the thin, hard line of her mouth.

“Did they ever tell you why they put up this field?” Lucretia didn't respond. They had told her very little information about it and, the deaths of her crew members in mind, she honestly prefered it to stay that way. Kate cleared the table by swiping her arm over the contents and pushing it off, and then all the lights went out immediately. 

Kate’s palms suddenly glowed pink, a color that Lucretia had grown accustomed to. She was casting something.

A hologram of a globe flickered to life on the table’s surface. Lucretia counted those cities again, only this time, they looked more full of life- the miniature lights were clear in the dark of the room.

“This was us, not too long ago.” Kate said,her eyes squinted in concentration. “We were highly advanced astronomers and scientists, extremely invested in the wide open world around us. There were lots more magic users back then, in fact, practically all of us were casters.”

“Did they die?”

Kate shook her head. “We don't really know.”

New holograms appeared at the flick of Kate’s wrist. Multiple flying saucers that looked like they came straight out of a low budget science fiction movie materialized and started circling the main globe. 

“We reached out to any life beyond us, and they responded. It was the most incredible age of technological advancements we’d ever experienced.”

The flying saucers activated their tractor beams. “It wasn't long until things took a turn for the worse.”

Lucretia watched intently as the beams pulled multitudes of people from the globe, slowly at first but quickly getting faster.

“They started taking people, particularly magic users, from behind our backs. Back then I worked as a private investigator and I started getting missing reports every hour. So many people just… Gone. Strangers, friends, loved ones…” Her voice cracked, and she rubbed her face with her sleeve. “I only found a few. They returned people they didn't find useful, which meant us magic users were dwindling by the minute. I was fearing for my life.”

The saucers zoomed away out of sight. “They hired the remaining magic users to create a field that would successfully keep them out for good. Now I'm sorta… Stranded.” The hologram faded as the lights turned back on.

“But I still think I can help you. I've done this before, I can do it again.”

Lucretia put a hand on Kate's shoulder reassuringly. “I'm really… Sorry about that. About your loss.”

Kate shrugged. “Eh, it's kind of our own fault for trying to trust a buncha weird space people. Uh, no offense to you.”

“None taken. Do you… know where to start?”

“I will. I'm gonna need details, though. Like, uh, it's your brother, right? So he's gotta look like y-”

Lucretia shook her head. “Oh no no no, it's not like that- We're adopted siblings. He doesn't look a thing like me. We've spent nearly 25 years together on our mission-”

“Alright, alright, hold on.” She took a notepad out of her back pocket and clicked the pen that had been stuck in the book’s spiral binding. “Tell me everything.”

“Oh! Uhhh… well he disappeared two days ago, we left to go shopping and when we came back somebody had broken into our ship. There was some blood on the floor, so we think he either got an injury or went down fighting-”

Her hand moved at the speed of light. “Uh huh. Did you find any foreign objects in your ship?”

“N-no? I don't know why we would…” 

“Keep going. What’d he look like?”

“He's kinda short and chubby, wears glasses, his hair is dark brown and curly, he's a little pale ‘cause he hardly goes outside… He's always wearing denim. I feel like I should mention that.”

“...yeah, that's kinda out of the ordinary. What's his name?” 

She paused. “Well… that parts a little difficult. He usually goes by his legal name, but sometimes he changes to his birth name to play it safe-”

One of her eyebrows raised, and she stopped writing. “Gimme both names then.”

“Barry Bluejeans and Sildar Hallwinter.”

Kate stifled a laugh, stopping when she saw Lucretia’s deadpan face. She shut the notepad and slipped it back into her pocket. 

“Could you… possibly take me to the scene of the crime?”

“Uh… you mean my ship? Yeah, of course I can. Do you need me to lead you or-”

Kate held out a hand, motioning for Lucretia to stop talking, and then reached down into the length of her boot. Out came a wand, delicate and polished. 

“I have better ways of transportation. Where is your ship, exactly?” Kate asked, taking Lucretia’s hand in hers.

“It’s about four miles south from here? I think.”

“Perfect!” The tip of the wand glowed a brilliant white, overtaking Lucretia’s vision and filling the room, until it was completely blinding. She felt like she was being torn apart, in a somehow painless way, and quickly reorganized back together moments later. Her limbs became static, everything around her was a void. The light faded and the two of them were standing in front of the Starblaster.

Lucretia held her head, stumbling dizzily. “Whoa- that’s a bit, uh, rough.”

“It’s faster than walking.” Kate slipped her wand back into her boot and headed towards the door. “Let’s solve ourselves a mystery, shall we?”


End file.
